Though bobbleheads (creepy clown nutcrackers) collectively have yet to stake a claim on becoming recognized naturalized citizens, the initial quiver has been shot across the bow of the nation’s subconscious as the front office of the Boston Red Sox organization chose to give a dubiously compelling inanimate plastic object a voice Tuesday.
What was supposed to be a celebration of the soon to be legendary career of slugger David Ortiz, turned into the latest installment of the politically correct files. Apparently, upon delivery of a batch of 15,000 bobblehead facsimiles of Ortiz to the Red Sox, club President Sam Kennedy took offense to the crafted nuances of the figurine. Kennedy pleaded to the Boston Globe, “It doesn’t really look like David. Number two, I personally thought it seemed to be an offensive portrayal of him and racially insensitive.” Exactly what design flaw Kennedy is specifically referencing, please stay tuned.
In the latest bout of societal zaniness, fans who expected to receive Ortiz memorabilia upon their entrance to Fenway, will now receive a paper voucher instead, good for one politically sterile iteration of the bobblehead, once the alleged racially charged manifestations have been corrected.
In other news, the playoff contending Red Sox are facing the Yankees, David Ortiz thinks the bobblehead does not resemble him, and bobbleheading will become a sport at the next Summer Olympics.
VIDEO: The Insanity Of Political Correctness