“If it takes two typists to type two pages in two minutes, how many typists will it take to type eighteen pages in six minutes?”
The framework behind the gem quality question of standardized testing logical and mathematical multiple choice problems, is not simply an evaluation tool for prospective college applicants in choosing an educational pathway forged by either science or the liberal arts, and goes far beyond the scope of the university. As US News is happy to reveal that water has been “discovered” on Mars for the 2485 time, and the pending speculation rivals the growing frequency and incredulity of frivolous sexual harassment accusers, which now includes porn stars, prostitutes, exotic pets, and team mascots, some public officials in California are apparently working on methods to transport the liquid gold across the inner solar system and thus alleviate the often misused and ugly concept of subversion that is drought.
We have all heard of the urban legend of the woman who trained her effulgent Macaw to parrot the name of an allegedly abusive ex, and the bird named “Clarence” rocking a Ric Flair inspired crown, performed brilliantly on the witness stand, answering the perfectly orchestrated questions by the prosecution with a series of jury swaying squawks and blinks. Unfortunately, the polarizing “d” word, which in this case does not indicate a listing of low-grade celebrities, is recklessly thrown around Sacramento and the state agricultural community with the influence of a persuasive and well-spoken exotic bird, and as frequently as Cartel run intricate opioid ponzi schemes pop-up as dangerously efficient money laundering schemes from the Bay area to the expansive suburbs of LA. Once used to describe the naturally arid regions of the state, drought has become a loaded baked potato concept topped by politics, bacon, agenda and bureaucracy. Add into this nightmare revision of an erroneous definition politicians on the verge of ideological insanity, and the prevalence of frozen H20 on the Red Planet echoes the plot of in this case a grade “B” movie, and with real life actors who do not even quality as “Hollywood ugly”.
It’s a shame that this scenario will never actually play out and in reality, the gross misconception surrounding the idea of drought, costs taxpayers, municipalities and farmers billions of dollars annually. However, with state waters rights intertwined in a tangled mess of state and federal regulations and property rights, the engineering challenge and breathtaking cost of shipping an International Space Station payload of water on the interplanetary railroad, does not seem so far-fetched, considering the following standardized testing problem. “If it takes ten lawyers five years and millions of dollars to legally restore the water rights of an individual home owner in San Luis Obispo for the purpose of irrigation, how many attorneys and dollars will it take to untangle the bureaucratic nightmare that is the actual root cause of the supposed drought?” Any sharp pupil, who can provide a definitive solution, deserves a considerable portion of the wealth generated by the whole of the entertainment industry.
Unfortunately, thanks to the disarming Clarence and other rare birds prone to vapid bouts of repetitive inaccuracies, the blatant lies fed to the public in assessing the status of water resources in California will continue to persist and farmers and land owners will suffer. Shawn Pike, who operates allwaterrights.com, gives this clear and concise explanation of the difference between water rights and runoff in helping folks to discern between reality and the exotic bullcrap perpetuated by politicians and environmentalists in utilizing the gullible media as a sounding board in creating an issue from the vacuous ether of nothingness. Pike states, “If we have a record wet year, same thing. Humans can still only capture and use what the plumbing allows. A much higher percentage of water is available for non-human, environmental uses. Same Plumbing = Same Maximum Water Use, regardless of water rights.” His solid reasoning and logic will only fall on deaf ears as will the fact that California as a whole receives such an excess of water from rainfall each calendar year, that a substantial percentage of the precipitation ends up as runoff and is absorbed by the Pacific Ocean. The key phrase is “…what the plumbing allows.” As water rights are granted based on the conditions dictated by legal precedent and environmental policy, government is directly responsible for shutting off the proverbial faucet in manufacturing drought by preventing a suitable and efficient infrastructure to be constructed in capturing the abundant resource. Instead, authorities and activists focus on pushing the flawed agenda and use the deplorable tactic of executing a 180 degree pivot towards shaming the residents, who are affected by the broken system.
In the end, we receive this wonderful news that Mars has a number of subterranean seas of ice that can possibly support the science fiction based grand colonization of the fourth planet from the sun. While innovative science rocks and the successful exploration of space is a unifying goal for humanity, the realty check is that we can’t effectively irrigate the one of the most important agricultural states, simply because we can’t get out of our own way. However, with the current spending habits of lawmakers in the Golden state taken into consideration, it may be a cost-effective solution to send an expedition of politicians to Mars, but the mission would probably fail, because of crippling environmental sanctions imposed on the ice caves.
As Clarence preens, pecks and side eyes his way to grade “C” stardom, his handler is teaching him a new word, a term that could possibly get the avian phenom thrown onto the plate of a Five-star special in an underground boutique cuisine where meals can only be purchased by cryptocurrencies, and as he is being consumed, the allegations of sexual harassment fly like baby boomers to the oasis and wide avenues bordered by the Kentucky blue grass fairways of Palm Springs at the beginning of each Winter. “Accountability, accountability, accountability…”
Read the US News article here.