“He or she drinks like a fish.” The tired phrase that describes a heavy drinker, may actually have some scientific validity attached to the silly idiom, thanks to the efforts of researchers in the UK. Of course, PETA leftists will claim that comparing a human to a fish is offensive and degrading.
According the BBC News, scientists at the University of Liverpool have determined that goldfish change the chemical composition within their bodies in order to survive being iced in for the Winter, and in doing so become intoxicated. As the oxygen supply quickly runs out beneath the ice, the fish are able to convert near fatal levels of lactic acid into alcohol and continue to metabolize and exist in a near state of suspended animation. The longer the fish goes without oxygen, the higher the alcohol content. Certain subjects in the study were actually above the legal limit for operating a vehicle and were asked to swim back to the pond in gutters.
While the crucial aspect of the research involves the advantages of how a duplicate set of genes increases the probability for survival in adverse conditions for certain species, with the prevalence of governments in racking up epic magnitudes of debt with boundless spending tactics, how was this project funded? With the recent call for reform in pairing back billions spent on decadent and junk science projects, one has to assume that certain members of parliament consumed three or four of the stewed carp in the moments before printing paper towel volumes of grant money.
Fraternities are now feeding their pet goldfish a wide array of excess booze as the party is now just getting started, and the taxi cab driver is now able to answer Holden Caulfield’s haunting question. Thank you “science”.
Read the BBC News story here.
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