The hottest new trend in the hipster movement is to choose to not participate in the ancient social ceremony of simple handshake, a ritual that has bonded humankind since the evolution of awareness and basic motor skills.
Regardless of gender, race, sexual orientation, rich or poor, political affiliation, when a hand is offered in a social setting, you are expected to take it, however, in our insane brave new world, there is actually a growing movement to scornfully deny the gesture of kindness. This is a perpetual joke that requires no punchline or ceremonious philosophical assessment, it is an utterly raw and coarse product of the extreme leftists in further dividing society in serving hypocritical and selfish needs. The irony of it all, is that this group claims to represent togetherness by decreeing that every individual is equal and gently placing the stems of carnations into the barrels of guns, yet when reality sets in, they are the rudest and most vile creatures on the planet in a world that revolves around their delusion of self-grandeur with a gravitational field capable of creating a galactic singularity.
I first heard about this phenomenon roughly five years ago from a friend of my father, who was attending a celebrity golf tournament in Palm Springs. The gentleman, was introduced to an individual on the fringe of the Hollywood scene, and when he reached his hand out for the expected shake, he was denied completely. Rumor has it that a couple of mutual friends had to hold him back from slugging the guy on the nose, in response to the blatant breach in social protocol.
It’s an unwritten rule that my father taught me, that his father taught him, when a man offers you his hand, you take it with a firm grip, shake it and look him straight in the eye. The ritual acknowledges something that is bigger than the individual, and the opportunity for establishing trust and a burgeoning kinship. Not surprisingly, the mainstream media has made it their goal to scrutinize the politics of Trump, but his handshakes methods as well. (Interestingly enough, the American Medical Association actually recommends that individuals limit handshaking in health care settings to prevent the spread of germs.) The fact that far left progressives are attempting to eliminate the eloquent gesture, is evidence of growing intolerance and a complete assault on decency. This chilling development, comes directly on the heels of an exponential growth in passive atheism, as the attack on the fundamental elements of a belief system threatens the integrity of an entire nation.
I have witnessed this befuddling behavior on several occasions over the last couple of years, and I never thought it would happen to me and it did. In the scheme of plights and horrific incidents in the world, it is quite trivial, but statistically indicative of something that folks should be wary of. On a humility scale with a ten being going in for a kiss and getting the cheek treatment and one being breaking a glass at the tavern, it was a solid eight, but with the shame, rage, and disappointment associated with a feeling of utter disbelief. Here’s how it went down.
A group of friends and I enjoy a weekly wine tasting event at a cozy neighborhood shop. It serves as both a chance for social interaction between working professionals and the opportunity for low scale networking. We meet, shake hands, share a bottle of vino, and enjoy good conversation. Occasionally, different people join our group, and we are happy to open up the table to friendly individuals, as “the more, the merrier”. Being in the awkward and arduous realm of the singles world, wine friends will at times invite single woman to interact with the group, in hopes that there is a connection. It is a low pressure win-win situation, and the gal never has any indication of my relationship status. This Wednesday, I had the pleasure of meeting a beautiful and intelligent lady from the local art community. There was no chemistry, which was cool, but here is where things got awkward. She invited her sister and sister’s husband, who are also artists, to the tasting event, and when they showed up, so did the ugly presence of societal engineering at its finest. The husband, probably in his early 40’s, shook my friend’s hand, accepted another handshake from a colleague, and when I stood up and reached my hand out, completely failed to acknowledge my gesture. I was shocked, angry and disgusted, but chose to swallow it with a smile, and do the adult thing and not make a scene. I do not understand the reasoning for the denial, as I had never been introduced to the person before, but maybe it had something to do with the slant of my op-eds, and the notion that “my reputation precedes me”. In any event, as a clean-cut person, and someone who is friendly, the idea of camaraderie is something that I take very seriously and the handshake is the necessary foundation in expanding perspective. There was absolutely no excuse for his behavior, but in the milieu of the Seattle hip culture, he was probably awarded a ceremonial trophy. There are jerks and there are activists, in this case I believe he was a little bit of both. After outwardly ignoring the incident, I left shortly there after and never looked back. I’m sure that he and his spouse enjoyed the remainder of the bottle I bought for everyone to enjoy.
Certainly, the proclivity to avert the basic tenets of westernized social interaction in a zany celebration of the countercultural movement is politically motivated, but another culprit in the decline of gripping hands is certainly our old friend the smartphone. Numerous studies have been done on the effects of texting on strength and physicality and have found that men between the ages 20-34, brandish weak handshakes compared to the older generations, because of increased gaming and texting, a lack of sporting activities and careers involving centered around digital technology.
Wonderful, not only do the young have their head in the virtual sand, they are getting weaker and more socially inept.
The Goose Peck
I am open-minded and would certainly have responded to a fist bump or at the very least a goose peck, but let’s at least try to be civil here as a group in society chooses to engage in a passive aggressive juvenile game of brattish behavior that has no place in our land of freedoms and traditions. In Seattle two men kissing is embraced with as much fervor and celebration as the moon landing, but now two strangers officially meeting for the first time have to endure an annoying pause in thinking twice before shaking hands, at the risk of being slighted and rejected.
The clock is ticking on the first accusation of an assault case based on a simple ingrained gesture of kindness, as the undermining of society continues, but as long as we can text and hate, who needs the handshake.