In the age of big data mining and job shaming where every half aware millennial believes they are a marketable statistician, a resounding unemployed gang of pseudo-intellectual radicals salivating like a pack of Pavlov’s dogs waits in tedious anticipation for a social network commentator to share a reasonable perspective on current issues or politics, before unleashing an ADD-infused backlash of derogatory language, intolerable attacks, and nonsensical arguments based on superficial talking points, all for the sake of releasing endorphins. As the trollish powder blue wave is fortunately ineffectual towards global policy and societal structure, despite the unsubstantiated claims of an insidious foreign influence, the apps, websites, internet providers and political action committees remain as the chief benefactors of prison-grade primal interaction and the poor excuse for an open forum of debate that have become the digital communities.
The cult members of the human influenced climate change movement are willing participants in the unrelenting online battles of coarse dialogue against moderate and right of center leaning individuals, yet are oblivious to the potential environmental imprint of the sheer magnitude of electricity required to power the servers and processors which comprise the framework of the internet matrix. This insufferable mentality is similar to the blatant oversight displayed by the urban hipster dog owner, who assumes that the waste of the beast is the responsibility of the city or simply left to petrify on a busy sidewalk for the sake of performance art. Exercising personal responsibility in the real world is a rare occurrence, as the simple function of maintaining eye contact outside the influence of a device has been selected out for the undesirable trait of complete detachment. With apologies aside to Darwin and the legitimate research community it is not getting better, and will not, as the vapid electronic exploits of the online culture continue to be validated.
In the “you can’t make this stuff up” story of the week, a Canadian climate science attempted to pull off a publicity stunt in haphazardly misinterpreting the role of carbon dioxide as a greenhouse gas, reports the BBC. The train wreck of an experiment involved the construction of a tiny biosphere with walls of plastic tarps, and featuring a garden of enclosed potted plants. Of course the star of the tragedy, or tromedy, was an individual bent on changing the world for the worst.
The irony is lost on the Hillary Clinton and George Soros axiom of frequent long haul jet travel Earth Day protesters, which goes something like, “I can fly 7 miles up true and free, and to me you are ants, so shame cars and the factory.” The categorical insanity is simply spawned from a lack of disseminating between truths and assumptions, along the presence of an unhealthy addiction to ideology fueled by emotion. Add to the boiling cauldron of gumbo, a propensity towards activism, a wide reaching forum for self-expression, and sprinkle in the newly forced trait of the modern culture instant gratification. The result is a chaotic confluence of perspectives and articulated noise, neatly packaged within the eloquence of popular modern software suites and spread through the wildfires of the social networks, unless the content is flagged as conservative and appropriate by the legions of human moderators and engineered bots. As fact becomes the culprit for cultural interpretations, the predators to sensibility are unleashed in promoting a toxic and unyielding an agenda.
One of the detrimental effects of this “Brave New World” of subversive shimmering pixels is the presence of felonious individuals lacking official credentials, who utilize developing video technology as a guise to promote myths in creating political advantages.
The faux researcher from British Columbia, attempted to display the wonders of a closed system and advocate for the perils of the ominous human carbon footprint, in sealing himself within a plastic wrapped backyard outhouse sized terrarium for 72 hours. The glorified greenhouse would apparently act as a scrubber to limit the CO2 levels from respiration and allow a breathable and safe environment. Wouldn’t it have just been easier to put a plastic bag over his head with a selection of hemp leaves? The climate of the earth is tediously complex, intricate, and maddeningly nuanced. The scope of the research community is no place for an amateur, a radical, or the use of a paltry sample size in making a calculated assumption to the contents of the atmosphere on a single day in the Neoproterozoic era.
While the experiment lasted a mere 15 hours, the post-biosphere logical oversights were beyond the level of sanctity, in brutalizing the foundational principles of science. As the percentage of carbon dioxide reached unsafe numbers, the climate alarmist decided to prematurely terminate the attempt at futility, and blamed the presence of heavy cloud cover for the degradation in air quality. He retorted that the photosynthesis processes of the plants were hampered due to a lack of sunlight and caused a fatal cascade reaction in changing the atmosphere to an environment rivaling Mars. As the interaction between flora and fauna works most efficiently in the presence of high levels of solar radiation, why the Nobel Fleece prize candidate chose to commence the experiment at the height of Fall in the dreary Pacific Northwest is inexplicable. With a plethora of short term meteorological tools available in finding an acceptable three day sunny window illustrating the scope of the epic failure suggests that various organizations tapping the vast resources spurred by the hysteria of the Green movement are knocking each other over in Pampiona infused fest of bottles and bulls.
For the rest of us disgusted by the entire snarky mood surrounding the experiment at least Judge Smails will forever exist within the YouTube archives in giving this humorous and eerily relevant and applicable terse piece of advice…