The Kim Jong Un Olympic-Sized Conspiracy Theory

A political figure impersonating thespian specialist or “PFITS” has hijacked the Pyeongchang news cycle for a day and garnered international attention for exploiting the North Korea regime by executing a real life gold medal level facsimile of the “dear leader”.

Only known by the ambiguous handle of “Howard”, the mystery man who flummoxed local security details and even managed to strum the heart strings of the North Korean “hollaback” girl cheer squad in a cherished moment forever captured live, viewers globally are still waiting in anticipation for his next series of hijinks, or the faint possibility of another appearance with the official Hollywood sanctioned twin of President Trump.

At this point in the Winter games, the wear and tear from champion medalist snowboard Shaun White’s trial in front of the press corps, or the reality that the unchecked costs and decadent infrastructure is literally spiraling out of control in one of the poorer economic regions of South Korea, a good old fashioned dose of slapstick humor is sorely needed.

Fox News reports that “Howard”, who may hail from Australia, Hong Kong or British Suriname, simply desired to meet and greet the infamous North Korean Cheer squad at a hockey game between Japan and Korea, and find brainwashed love on Valentine’s Day. He may regret what he wished for, as Un’s female army of spirit and pep have more in common with the angry and insane groups representing the counter cultural movement in attempting to sterilize university campuses, than the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Allegedly, each member of the team was selected on the basis of loyalty to the organic and tyrannical nature of the leadership, looks, killing skills, cheering presence, and knowledge of hockey (not necessarily in that order).

Armed only with a North Korean hand flag and the presence of a deranged world leader, Un’s look-alike gained free access to the North Korean cheering section and made quite the impression with the ladies. Within moments, event security mobbed the scene and temporarily detained “Howard”. There is no word yet whether any love connection was made, but his device is already buzzing off the hook in request for appearances on the corporate motivational circuit and at exclusive house parties. Of the trio of patriotic vixens in the now memorable screen capture, the rumors are swirling that girl number two, front and center, may have the inside track in the ultimate dating game.

The caveat to the exploits of a true merry prankster, who revealed an upper class British accent in attempting to explain his game plan to law enforcement officials, is that the real Kim Jong Un and megalomaniac (please stand up, please stand up), may be the mastermind behind an intricate publicity stunt in gaining more prestige for the regime. Historically, former leaders of the oligarchy, were known to spend extravagant amounts of capital, in attempting to shame the West. While, “Howard” may be a mere pawn in a tedious game of “I dare you” and on the tedious payroll of the North, his controversial antics will forever be remembered as an iconic moment in a fabricated construct of misplaced glory and billions of dollars in overspending.

Read the Fox News article here.

---