Traditionally, a fellow citizen asking for a few sets of extra eyes to assist in tracking down a stolen car would not constitute the allocation of digital bandwidth or time.
However, in the case of Seattle Seahawk offensive lineman Justin Britt tweeting out to legions of fans the personal heart-“retching” conundrum he faces in the wake of his automobile allegedly being stolen, demands at least an out-patient style of treatment. As the vast majority or professional athletes grasp the financial realities of their fortunes, Britt’s irregular and self-serving request borders on the pathological. With the potential “car-gate” define his career? Q13-Fox TV reports that the NFL veteran reached out his followers Sunday in assisting with the recovery effort of a Chrysler 300.
Britt, a proud and looming presence from the University of Missouri, inked a contract with the team in 2014 as a second round draft pick for $3.5 million, with a guarantee of $1.4 million, plus an $800 thousand signing bonus, which cements him in rare financial air that most educated Americans will never reach. As the average university graduate earns $1.8 million in a lifetime, the various arguments against the high income of NFL players begins to formulate with the frequency and intensity of law school dropouts taking the California bar exam in the crusade of selfies for justice and restoring the damaged privacy of serial social networking posters appearing on black market and dark web sanctioned international dating sites. Though the majority of victims endure the mere embarrassment and anguish of selfies of their feet with the backdrop of exotic locations being traded like gold on fetish and unmentionable digital forums.
Yes, professional athletes are generally overpaid, though they earn fair market value based on overall revenue generated and team financial budgets. Yes, the average NFL career is brief, marked by possible lingering health effects and the public figure distinction creating susceptibility to criticism and ridicule. Yes, Britt had every right in facilitating a call to action through his fame and wealth of social media followers in sharing his plight with a global audience. And yes, the consummate role player on the most effective brand in local sports and associated public relations specialists failed to understand and process the demographics of the core fan base in authoring a message that can be interpreted as tawdry, misguided and arrogant. The circumstances in which the tweet was unleashed point to a major transgression in adhering to the unwritten rules of the ambiguity surrounding the idea of celebrity.
As Britt’s automobile is likely being unceremoniously exposed to the underworld of chop shops ruled by the insidious trio of the Yakuza, Bratva and the informal disorganzied union of meth-heads and heroin addicts enabled by the Seattle City Council, but not officially recognized (at least currently) by the state of Washington, one can only hope that he can afford the deductible on his insurance policy. The innumerable number of driver selfies of the Chrysler on his smart phone will surely assist detectives in identifying bits and pieces of the once mighty car. Britt could have made the world a better place if he possessed the class and wit to own a Lincoln and Matthew Mcconaughey was somehow bound in the trunk of the stolen vehicle on a freighter chasing the sunset and triads to Hong Kong.
Read the full Q13-TV story here.